01 Mar What is acceptance?

“Have a big enough heart to love unconditionally, and a broad enough mind to embrace the differences that make each of us unique.”-D.B. Harrop

What is acceptance?

“Acceptance means to be in the embrace of what is without resistance. True acceptance is one of the most powerful and life-changing practices you can choose for your life journey.”
In my book, I talk about many lessons I learned while raising my children who have special needs. Before I elaborate on one of the lessons that I learned, I feel it is important to get to know my children. My daughter, whom is 12, has Quadriplegic Cerebral Palsy, Epilepsy, Lung Disease, feeding disorders just to name a few. My son, whom is 14, has Asperger’s Disorder, Epilepsy, Anxiety, Receptive Language Disorder, and Chronic Tics. For me to be the mother they needed, I had to learn the lesson of acceptance. This was one of the hardest lessons I learned.

Acceptance…that word caused me the hardest and most painful internal struggles of my life. How hard can acceptance be you are probably thinking? For a person like me it is extremely difficult. I love my children more than life itself but when both have such different diagnoses and disabilities that can impact their quality of life, I just could not accept it. For me to accept my children’s diagnoses and/or disabilities, I had to first accept myself and realize that I am not this horrible, broken monster that I think I am.

Trying to process the information overload due to all the diagnoses and conditions caused me to develop depression. I just could not fathom why my children had to have all these problems. I could not accept the fact that they were not perfect. I just became emotional all the time. The problem with the emotions I was feeling was that I had no idea how to process these emotions. I had no outlet because I had two young babies to care for. So, I kept my emotions all bottled up inside and one day I just completely broke down and hit rock bottom. No one could understand why I was so sad and crying all the time. So, my medical doctor referred me to a therapist and after the first session he said this sentence,” You won’t feel any better under you can ACCEPT yourself and your children the way you and they are and that they or you do not need to be fixed.” And this became years of therapy otherwise called the “art of acceptance.” In my mind, accepting all of this in my life meant I was a failure. And this was the farthest thing from the truth.

Once I accepted all the diagnoses and conditions, it enabled me to be a better mother. Instead of trying to “fix” my kids, I was able to see all the strengths and uniqueness that each of them had. I found out how artistic and funny they can be. I became the mother they needed me to be. You don’t have to do this alone, there is help out there. You just have to be willing to accept it.

Sources

Acceptance photo: http://www.pickthebrain.com

Acceptance definition: https://www.identitymagazine.net/2013/11/14/4-steps-to-accept-the-unacceptable-why-finding-true-acceptance-is-your-key-to-freedom/

D.B. Harrop Quote: https://www.goodreads.com/author/quotes/5837355.D_B_Harrop